Scribbled Humor

A friend sent this to my email, which I found really amusing. Some guy took a Sejarah exam and it's either he's extremely smart pretending to be dumb, or he's extremely dumb trying to be smart. It's hilarious. Sorry yeah, because my page isn't big enough to contain the whole thing, you need to click on each picture to read the essay.
Warning: handwriting might cause eye strain. read at your own risk.

Dream Phones

Nokia 7500 (The Prism Phone)






















-2 megapixel camera with 8x digital zoom
-memory up to 2GB
-240 x 320 pixels
-bluetooth,mp3 player,FM radio

and more.





Sony Ericsson W960i




















- 240 x 320 pixel
-3.2 megapixel (autofocus)
-Bluetooth, Megabass, Walkman player
-Document editors, Symbian OS
-Touchscreen

and more.

Sony Ericsson W580i

- 240 x 320 pixel

- 2 megapixel

- up to 2GB memory

- Megabass, bluetooth, walkman player

- Shake Control, Track ID

and more.

I want a new phone. XD All I can do right now is dream for one.

Jet lagged

I just got back from my youth church (YC) Leadership Retreat today. I'm feeling entirely dizzy and it's amazing how I managed to follow my parents to Carrefour to get their groceries after the bumpy van ride back from Genting. Well, I thank God for sending us back safely, except that I've got a really bad jet lag. Urgh. I have to keep suppressing the wave of nausea that washes over me every few minutes. Anyway, as though the throbbing headache wasn't bad enough, something else happened in Carrefour.

I was reaching for some books on the higher shelf and one of them fell sharply on my nose bridge. Bang. Damn pain wei. Then a few seconds later, I felt a tiny bump where the stupid book hit me. =( It was like a mini mosquito bite - red, bumpy and irritating. When my mom saw me about 10 minutes later, she was like, "eh what happened to your nose? something bite you ah?" So I mumbled, "no lah. someone kissed me. see now bengkak edi." Then she really believed me you know.Hahaha so funny. Despite that stupid accident, I still managed to joke about it. Must be the jet lag.

I don't have time to upload the pics I took at Genting... last night, my friends and I went for a stroll at the open parking lot and it was blistering cold outside. It was like, -2'C I think. And we still managed to pose for pictures and talk all sorts of rubbish. I went to bed at 5am. XD Then when I woke up this morning, I was shivering all over from the cold. I wonder how ppl who live overseas can withstand the cold... I mean it's only Genting Highlands and I felt like I was living in a fridge already.

To sum it all up, Leaders Retreat was good. Some of the new things I learned:
1) You gotta have passion to fulfill your mission
2) Everytime you overcome something you're afraid of, you become stronger.
3) There is a positive side in every downfall - it's just that sometimes we don't see it.

and last but not least,

You gotta step out of your comfort zone and allow yourself to be exposed to brand new situations.

I really liked the last one.

Zulaiheros and Ismadi

I haven't been updating because I've been so busy with college stuff. Whoever said "AUP is such a relaxing programme" can take their words back. It's true that we don't lead a hectic lifestyle in college, but who knows what goes on after college when we're back in our homes? I've got that Physics graph to draw and about 50 pages of American History to read, plus another 2 chapters of Psychology to catch up on. O.o (I wanna take a Starbucks timeout)

I think I'm going to switch to another Maxis number, since my current one has been getting 'corrupted' calls and sms-es from day one. About 20% of the time, I get ppl calling me asking for weird Indian names, 10% of the time it's from some strange Malay people, and 80% of the time it's from big big companies like the bank and today, it was Court Mammoth. And these people ask for the same person most of the time: Ismadi. Who the heck is Ismadi?!!! I'm no Ismadi, dude. I'm Carissa! It annoys me how many times I pick up the phone only to hear "Elo boleh saya cakap dengan Encik Ismadi? Ini Public Bank." Then I'll have to say "Sori ini salah nombor. Saya bukan Ismadi." Then the fella will say "Oh ya ke? Mana Ismadi?" And then I will say "Mana saya tau?" And end the call. That happens very often, like once in 2 weeks or so.

Then today, I received an sms from Courts Mammoth asking for Encik Zulaiheros (that's a very long name. And bloody complicating too) This man owe them RM1574 and if he doesn't pay up, they will get the Court to sue him. Wow this was a serious case for them to think that I'm the Zulaiheros guy. What if they charged me instead? So when they called, my mom was the one who spoke to them and told them that there is no Zulaiheros here. And right after that, she looked at me and went, "OK this time I'll consider letting you change your number."
*jumps for joy*

Ohhh has anyone heard this joke before? It's a Yo Mamma joke. Very stupid.
"Your mama's so fat. That when she jumped for joyyy.... she got stuck."

In case you were wondering, I heard it from Russell Peters.
Man I love that guy! =) He cracks me up all the time. Lol.

Bummer

"Mom, I think we're gonna be late." I told my mom as she steered the wheel and U-turned into the never-ending traffic jam. I'm glad I haven't took up driving lessons yet. I'm glad my mom didn't force me to drive to college. I'm glad I don't have to face the stupid traffic jam every morning on the way to college. It's crazy. The other time, we got stuck in the jam for 40 minutes. Today it lasted for 30 minutes because we took a different route (the Usj 4 route) but that side of Subang was badly jammed too. I was lucky that I managed to reach college on time for Psychology which started at 8, but when I got there, a guy announced that our class had would be postponed and rescheduled. So all of us in the class were lost... what were we gonna do for the next 2 hours?? A bunch of us sat headed off to Asia Cafe, where the guys played Pool and I played with the Foozball Machine (is that how you spell Foozball?) Haha and we were having a blast. I'm probably the worst Foozball player Asia Cafe has ever seen XD I scored my own goal twice. Instead of kicking it into the opponent's hole, I kicked it into our home goal. Lol. It was my first time at the machine. But Foozball's fun. The next time my Psychology class gets canceled again (let's just hope it won't) I know exactly where to go :)

I thought the yellow thingies looked like mini fire hydrants.

Just a brief view of the place

I was so excited when I took up American History this semester, mainly because it's American History and not bloody Sejarah. My professor for American History is a large American man who lives in Malacca, and he comes all the way to my college faithfully two times a week to teach us. (I don't want to think how much his petrol might cost him) He's VERY strict about punctuality. If you're just 3 minutes late, he'll lock the door and he did that to a couple of unlucky students today. I bought a photostated copy of the American History textbook for RM23, and it's like super thick:

That's the size of my Form3, 4 and 5 History textbook combined together!!
And we're supposed to finish the whole thing in 5 months.

No, I don't regret taking American History, but my greatest regret at the moment was buying the photostated copy of the book. How was I to know that this particular lecturer doesn't support piracy?! He's all about buying the original products... I think if we lived like that everyday, buying only the original DVDs and CDs, youngsters would probably go broke faster than they normally would. Shops like SPEEDY would be saying "To hell with piracy - (and your money. Hehe) ."
Back to the point. I had no idea that my professor strictly insisted on the original copy of the book, which costs about RM60 - Rm70. I mean, he didn't say that on the first day of class! I only found out like, 1 hour before class from some of my classmates. They were all like, "Ohh you mustn't let him see your book or he'll get really angry and throw it out of the class like he did to a few students last year. He wants only the original copy."

Sigh. So right now, I'm in desperate need for the same American History book. I don't mind getting a second-hand one, since I'm only gonna need it for 5 months.

So this is what the ORIGINAL book looks like... I need it a.s.a.p.. and I'm on the trail for people who have it and don't need it anymore. Well in case that's you, or if you happen to know of people who are taking American History and are willing to sell their books at half price, pleaseee let me know right away, k! Either email me or just post a comment here. (by the way you don't have to sign in to blogspot to post a comment underneath this entry. Anyone can leave a comment) Thanks!

Mr. Maybank's Secret

One day, three bankers, a Mr.Citibank,Mr. HSBC and Mr.Maybank went for a walk.For no apparent reason, they went into a zoo and passed an elephant. Being very competitive, Mr. Citibank had and idea and he said, "Why don't we prove who is the best among us?"
The others, of course, agreed.
So Mr.Citibank went on,"Let's do a test. Whoever makes this elephant laugh, he works for the best Bank."
They all agreed and started.Being a pure logical strategist, Mr.Citibank tried to make the elephant
laugh by telling really lame jokes. (In this story, the elephant understands what he says) However, it remained still. As a more practical guy, the HSBC guy tried to make funny gestures...and
the elephant still stood firm. When it came to Mr.Maybank's turn, he walked up to the elephant and whispered something to it. The elephant guffawed loudly. The other 2 bankers were astonished.
Mr. Citibank was not willing to give up. So he quickly said, "OK. Fine. Let's try something else. Whoever makes this elephant cry works for the best bank!"
So Mr.Citibank told some very dramatic emo stories and Mr.HSBC made sad gestures but the elephant made no sign of crying. Then Mr.Maybank whispered something into its ear and the elephant burst into tears. Once again, the other 2 bankers were dumbstruck.
So the Citibanker said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win this test, we will bow to you. Let's make this elephant run".
He began to bark orders to the elephant, but the huge gray animal didn't budge. Nor did it move an inch when the HSBC guy tried to push it. Finally, the Maybank guy calmly strode over to the elephant and whispered something to it, and the animal took off at full speed as if it was being chased by a tiger.
Defeated, Mr.Citibank said, "Ok, fine, you've won. Your bank is the best bank. Now tell us your secret. What on earth were you telling that elephant?"
The Maybanker just smiled and replied:
"Well, the first time I made him laugh, I said Maybank is the best bank."
"When I made it cry, I told him how much I get paid."
"And when I made him run... I asked him to join Maybank."

Disgusting

Here's a secret: I never read newspapers much. They're so boring o.O But after attending college yesterday, all the lecturers said that general knowledge is damn kao important etc so now I don't have a choice. The recent headline that shot its way up is that Chua Soy Lek thingy. Who does he think he is? Paris Hilton?

Everyone knows Paris does it all the time. But this is OUR Health Minister we're talking about! That's so disgusting. Furthermore he's so old, and his intimate actions were caught on tape. Who in the right kind of mind would want to watch an old man doing it? So disgusting lor. Anyway, it's a good thing his position has been stripped off. What I don't get is how his wife said she could still 'stand by him' even though this issue is the talk of the nation right now. It's either she's just pretending to keep her cool, or she loves him to death that she could let her husband sleep with another woman, let it get announced in public and still say "no matter what happens, I will always be by his side". =.=" Well, looks like the ex Health Minister might need an STD check.

A Fresh Start

I didn't like blogging with Xanga because they always have those annoying bugs that make your whole page lag for minutes when you're uploading a picture. Everyone's been talking about Blogspot. So I decided to give it a try. This will be my new blog from now =]

Will update as frequent as I can! Ciao!