Where'd The Inner Chef Go?

"Do you cook a lot?" Gloria asked me this morning during one of our monthly Skype sessions (she's in Australia).

I rolled that question over my mind for a few seconds before answering, "Not as often as I used to."

When I lived on campus, I used to cook real food like pasta, fried rice, Japanese curry with potato cubes and sliced carrots, fancy ramen (fried ramen coupled with vegetables, eggs and meat), bacon spaghetti, chicken curry, and more. I never ventured out to cook authentic cultural dishes like nasi lemak, chow kuey teow, pan mee and other stuff that I missed from home, but I was able to fill my tummy each night with the simple things.

The fact that I had roommates actually motivated me to cook almost every day. Sometimes I'd cook for them too. When I went to live with Rob and Dina over the weekend, I'd cook for them and Rob used to joke about how he hated the preparation process, of having to dice carrots and marinate the meat and all that. You prepare for an hour, and you finish the meal in 10 minutes. I told him I didn't mind preparing or cooking, and I really didn't, because it was worth it when people were around to appreciate my food.

Living alone in NYC has changed a lot of things. Because I don't have anyone to cook for apart from myself, I don't feel the urge to make a nice meal. I can settle for the easy stuff. Cooking feels like a chore. I don't know where my inner chef disappeared to. It all started when I did my first fashion internship a few months ago. I would get home around 7.30 PM, exhausted from a long day at work (and the hour-long commute contributed to my laziness too) and the last thing I wanted to do was cook. So I'd reach for the quickest thing that would fill me up: a bowl of cereal or ramen. 

I know that fringes on a very unhealthy lifestyle, so I'm trying to cut down on ramen and cereals for dinner. I thought I'd give salads a shot, despite my lack of enthusiasm for raw lettuces. During my last grocery trip, I bought fresh vegetables, honey roasted almonds, croutons and some tuna. Still not a huge fan of salads... but they're way healthier than ramen.

Every now and then, I pick up the spatula and produce a simple dish that isn't ramen. Just before I sat down to blog about this, I made spaghetti with garlic, eggs and leftover vodka sauce. It was surprisingly good. It won't earn a Michelin star, but it's good enough.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I used to enjoy cooking. Not anymore. Maybe things will change. Maybe one day I'll find my inner chef again.

Why I Blog

Blogging doesn't come easy anymore.

I'm constantly wondering if my writing makes any sense, if it's getting across to my readers, if it's entertaining or just snooze-inducing, or if it's losing its personality.

Good writers don't just write - they create and illustrate stories and scenarios. They spark imagination. But it's not just about painting vivid pictures for the readers. They also work on the personality of their pieces, the strong, distinctive voice that readers can identify them with.

I'm often torn between what I want to say, what I should say, and what I think people would want me to say.

In the process of that inner struggle, I lose my focus.

When I first started this blog in 2008, I blogged about anything and everything. I would write about the silliest things like my cousin's little pet tortoise to my pet fish who died a week later. I wrote about lame jokes I overheard (even if they reflected my terribly lame sense of humor back then). I wrote about random things that went on during the week. It really seemed like I was talking to myself on my blog.

And then I started writing about dilemmas, little strings of thoughts that kept me up at night, thoughts that carried a certain depth. Thoughts that made people think. It was my way of confronting and consoling myself. And I found peace in that.

The way I see it, blogging isn't just another social networking site. It's not Twitter and it certainly isn't Facebook. This blog is so much more personal. It's a space for me to share my thoughts in greater lengths, it's a space for me to record the memorable moments of my life. It's an online journal that I will reflect on from time to time and notice visible differences in my writing and myself. And if my work can encourage others, that's wonderful. Reading feedback from my readers always puts a smile on my face. I want to blog without the boundaries that are constantly holding me back. I want to remember what it's like to write freely once more, writing about things I love.

I will continue blogging. I will continue writing about things that make sense (or don't). I will ramble about what I ate for brunch (well actually I have a blog for that... hehe) and I will write about the silliest things sometimes. I will write about how great God has been. I will keep writing. If you've been following my blog or even took the time to read the end of this post, thank you. :)

Weeks in Review

Hello! I'm back on the blogging bandwagon. I had to take a break from blogging for a while, as my journey in New York encountered new phases that required me to channel most of my time and energy elsewhere.

Well, here's a brief update on my life in the Big Apple:

• Levi moved in with me for a month
  My good friend from Arkansas came to New York in January for an internship. During her final month, she moved into my apartment with me because her Craigslist housing situation wasn't working out. (NOTE: Make Craigslist your final option when scouting for homes. Do it only if it's a matter of life and death.) She's talented with makeup, so she introduced me to various skincare products and even taught me how to shape my eyebrows. This is embarrassing, but I've never really cared about my eyebrows until she commented on how hideous they were. Then, brandishing tweezers and an eyebrow pencil in my face, she sat me down and began fixing my terrible eyebrows. Thanks to her, my eyebrows don't look so monstrous anymore. We spent most of our time at Koreatown together, strolling the streets for food. We love Korean food. Her internship reached its final leg last week, so she flew back to Arkansas on Monday. I miss her loads, but I'm also beginning to appreciate the independence of living by myself (for the very first time) in a foreign city and country.

• Simona visited me during her spring break
  You might remember her from a photoshoot I did several months ago. Simona was one of the first people I met when I arrived in the States back in 2010. We hit it off right away and have stayed close friends ever since. It was hard saying goodbye to the people I'd grown close to in Arkansas, and she was one of them. So when she told me she could come visit for 5 days, I was thrilled. Together, we conquered SoHo, Union Square Park, Times Square, museums, cafes and chocolate stores. It was just like the good old times when we used to meet for lunch at the campus cafeteria, except this time our conversations weren't limited to one-hour lunch breaks. She was a joy to have around, and I'm counting the days until I see her again.

• Assisted fashion stylist Jaclyn Bethany for a few photoshoots
  I spent all of February and March browsing the web hungrily for fashion jobs and internships, and I found an ad by Jaclyn Bethany seeking interns. I applied, and the next thing I knew, we were meeting at Au Bon Pain one morning and she was explaining the details of the internship to me. That night, she emailed me the schedule, and a few days later, I began my first fashion internship as the assistant of one of NYC's coolest and nicest fashion stylists. Jaclyn was fun to work with. She's also an aspiring actor! I got to help out at real fashion photoshoots (my dream came true) and witness them unfold. I was working around clothes from huge labels like Prada, Chanel, Gucci, Giorgio Armani, Versace, and other designer brands that were featured on the New York Fashion Week runway. I only worked two fashion shoots, and I've been booked to help at another two this coming week. Yay!  

• Scored a paid internship at Fashionista.com
  God is good! Right after a busy week of assisting Jaclyn Bethany, I got an internship with Fashionista, a prestigious fashion news website that caters the latest news on a daily basis. I was beyond excited. I started two weeks ago, so I'm still pretty new to this thing, but I'm learning so much more about fashion and the team's writing style. It's definitely a good step into the fast-paced world of fashion. The office is located on Broadway Street in SoHo, which also happens to be one of NYC's busiest shopping districts. It can't get any better than this!

I work four days a week from 10AM to 6PM, and it's a rather lengthy commute to Manhattan from the quaint suburbs of Queens, but I think it's worth it. It's the experience that really matters, in the end.

Have a fantastic weekend, folks!

Movies, Munchies & Manicures

Last week was one of the best weeks of the semester. 

Three classes got cancelled, which meant more time to sleep in and relax ;) Also, less deadlines! 

The weekend was perfect. I actually spent all three days in the apartment, and personally felt like I wasn't as productive as I'd planned to be. But I had a good, long weekend of relaxation and fun. 

Friday night was spent with the roomie. I'd been watching dozens of manicure videos on YouTube, so I was really excited to try some new designs on non-lacquered nails (mine were already manicured, unfortunately) so Katrina readily offered her fresh, clean nails as my canvas. 

We spent about an hour at the dining table while I tried to imitate what I'd seen on YouTube onto her nails, only to fail miserably. :( But she was a good sport about it. At the end of the manicure, I'd painted all 10 nails in different shades because I was experimenting with colors and styles. For dinner, she made chicken pasta in creamy cheese sauce, which was one of the tastiest things I'd had all week, and then we watched Toy Story 2 and The Lorax into the night.

We also stocked up on sweet treats! :)

Chocolates are my guilty pleasure. That afternoon, we'd gone to Walmart to get groceries and candy for our Saturday potluck party and I'd bought an assortment of candy, from Kit Kats to Ferrero Rochers to candy corn taffies. It's funny how we both had similar dreams about candy that night. I dreamt I was sampling the Kit Kats and she dreamt she finished all the candy corn taffies. 

Since it's currently pumpkin season, we bought a little pumpkin and planted him on top of our coffee table.

We named him Jack.

I've never carved a pumpkin before. I've also never gone trick-or-treating. Haha. Well, I grew up in Malaysia and we didn't have four seasons, so Halloween wasn't exactly part of the culture. This year, I'm finally carving a pumpkin!!! Thinking about this is getting me excited. I won't carve Jack, since he's tiny and all. He's just going to sit on the table and look adorable. I'll pick out a big, fat pumpkin when I go pumpkin hunting one of these days.

Painting nails is so therapeutic. I've always liked manicures, but lately my love for pretty nails has spiraled into a mild obsession.  I don't think it's major. I mean, I just love looking at nail videos and staring at the rows of colorful nail polish bottles in the stores. And then I'd have to get at least one before I leave, or I'd feel deeply unsatisfied. 

Spent about an hour and a half today on my cosmic-themed nails :) 

They're really fun to do!

Saturday was the night of our potluck party. Katrina and I had been planning this for days. We had a ton of food and a bunch of cool people in the apartment, so it was pretty fun.

I made chicken, spinach and mushroom pasta in creamy sundried tomato alfredo. Katrina made delicious cheesecake brownies. Will brought chips & dip and homemade chocolate chip brownies, Christina brought popcorn and Doris brought an assortment of salads! And the others just came and hung out and ate. Lol.

"Everyone, smile!" 

Sunday moved pretty slowly for me, in a good way. I woke up late, took my time to finish some class assignments, did my laundry, ate leftovers, watched some movies with the roomie. And spent an hour hunting for jobs in New York, which is where I'm intending to move to once I graduate. Please say a prayer for me! Job and apartment hunting in a big city isn't turning out to be as easy as I thought. 

Can't believe the weekend has already ended. In a couple of hours, I'll be waking up for class. And the routine carries on. 

I love climbing into bed and staring at the walls, watching the lights glimmer beautifully in the dark before I drift into dreamland. Those lights offer me comfort, just like the strings of photographs on my walls, reminding me of all the faces I miss so dearly. 

Goodnight! :)

Still Searching

Jobs. Resume. Cover letters. CVs. Jobs. Housing. Jobs. Jobs. Jobs.

My mind can barely rest these days. I graduate in December and I have very limited time to wrap my plans together. I'd love to move to New York after graduation and settle in some cozy little apartment in Brooklyn, working a day job at a prestigious newspaper or magazine.

I have that much planned out - but I haven't finalized anything yet. Nothing is confirmed because I'm still at square one: tweaking my resume and cover letter.

Friends suggested I should apply for Vogue, and I laughed. I'm not downscaling my writing abilities, but seriously, a part of me is flattered they even suggested it, and the other part of me knows fairly well my application will just be among one of the thousands waiting to be reviewed by Vogue.

I'm fueled with a strong passion to work for The New York Times, although I'm already convinced it's not going to happen anytime soon, given my lack of experience in reporting outside of campus. Plus, The New York Times' writing style is flourished with eloquence and grandiose vocabulary - a trait I'm still working hard to acquire.

But hey, I'm willing to try. I'll aim high, so even if I fall, I'll land among the stars, right? That's only if I don't fall too far below... and end up back on earth with reality slapping me in the face.

I've heard how hard it is to score a job or even a paid internship in the States, and especially in New York, a city that birthed so many great writers. Competition is crazy.

But I have big dreams and I'm not willing to quit dreaming. Not yet. Not ever. Wish me luck! :)

Twice in Three Days

I've hit the jackpot.

I've already been through public humiliation twice since two days ago, and it's only the third day of the week. Ironically, both incidents occurred in the library.

Embarrassment #1:
I have always wanted - and still want - a MacBook. Until last week, I learned that my campus library lends MacBooks to students within the library premises. So on Monday, I borrowed a sleek MacBook at the counter and roamed the crowded library until I found a nice spot, which coincidentally turned out to be in the middle of the library. I was sitting among groups of students who were either doing homework, reading or surfing sites on their computers. Either way, it was so silent that every sound was amplified: the clicking of mouses, the irregular punching of keys on the keyboard, the occasional squeak of the chair, the muffled shuffling as someone shifted in his seat.

I was surfing Tumblr. I clicked on one of the blogs and all of a sudden, an acoustic rendition of Payphone pierced through the middle section of the library.

When something catches you off-guard, the world seems to move in slow motion. You're suddenly aware of everything that's happening to you. You're aware that beads of cold sweat are breaking across your forehead. You're aware of your heart pounding wildly in your chest. You're aware of the panic that attacks you, that holds you hostage for a good 10 seconds of so, before it releases you into the arms of shame.

Being unfamiliar with a Mac, I wasn't sure where the X button was. 

The music sliced through the silence, forcing heads to snap in my direction. I tried to ignore the heat of their gazes but I could already feel it creeping up my neck and spreading across my face, flushing my cheeks. 

All eyes were fixed on me as they watched me struggle to close the window of the site that had produced such a disruption. 

I cringed. I froze. I uttered the first thing that popped into my head that summed up everything I was feeling: "Shit."

Yes, I was in deep shit. I couldn't get the dang site to close! Where was that X button? 

My fingers roamed the metallic mousepad as my eyes trained on the screen, hunting for the X. I glanced down at the keyboard, the shiny black keys emblazoned with a purplish glow around the edges - and thought of finding the mute button. But the music was getting louder and the stares were growing heavier, and I did not dare to look up.

Panic sometimes causes your brain to freeze. It distorts your focus. All you see is the problem. Despite the solution flashing in front of your face, sometimes you just don't see it. 

My eyes glazed over the X button several times on the screen, but I didn't see it. Not until the singer reached the end of the first line, did I finally find the X button. I clicked it. The music stopped abruptly. Soon, students shifted their attentions back to their books and computers and cellphones, but the awkwardness still hung in the air, like the bitter burnt smell after a fire. 

Embarrassment #2:

What happened today was just awful. 

I was walking across the polished floor of the library, past an army of students who were seated behind flat-screen computers.There were at least 50 students all typing away. And my shoes were making these awkward clicking sounds as I passed the threshold. It resonated louder than the clicking of keyboard keys. I was a little embarrassed that my shoes were making such a loud noise, so I decided to walk a little faster. 

I did not see the small puddle of water on the floor.

And that's when it happened: the gravity-defying moment that caught me offguard. First, I felt the fraction between the floor and my feet disppearing. My heart sank and buried itself in my stomach the moment I understood what was happening. Then my mind screamed "NO!" but manifested itself as a weak gasp from my lips. I was falling, and there was nothing I could do to prevent it. There was nothing to grab on to. I landed in a very awkward position and just sat on the floor for a good two seconds or so, all the time cursing myself for being such a klutz. Someone asked if I was okay. I forced a smile and got back up, managing a "Yeah, I just wore the wrong shoes today" and carried on walking as though it never happened. I was aware of people's eyes on my back, of whispers that were probably circulating around. 

Talk about major public slip ups.

Sometimes, shit just happens.

Just A Little Update

This semester is looking to be cuh-rayyy-zeee. Crazy, crazy.

It's also my last semester at UCA. Come to think of it... I'm graduating in December and I'll be bidding student life a big, emotional farewell. :'(

Classes started less than 2 weeks ago. I'm taking 3 creative writing classes (Blogging, Forms of Fiction and Writing for Children's Books), a journalism class (Principles of Online Journalism), two campus publications (the newspaper and the yearbook) and I'm also doing an internship on campus with the College of Fine Arts and Communication.

So far, school has been fun. I really enjoy what I do. I used to have second thoughts about journalism when I first started. The workload was more than I'd hoped for, and I was constantly having the pre-interview jitters when I had to interview someone on an article. It took several more interviews, writing, and plenty of preparation to finally overcome that fear.

Let's hope (fingers crossed) that I won't burn out this semester under the pressure of my assignments, but will continue to burn brighter than ever.

Weekend

Hello weekend!

This has got to be one of the best summers I've ever had. I woke up this morning and realized I have plenty to be thankful for, so I took some time to say thanks before getting out of bed.

Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with the things around me that I forget to thank the One who made all this possible. He's blessed me tremendously, and I made it one of my life's greatest goals to continue being a blessing to others in any and every way I can.

***

When I returned from New York, I was bitten by the lazy bug. That's why I'm taking forever to update all my blogs. I'm still working on the pictures I took. So far, I've got 40% down and 60% to go. Not bad, progress made nevertheless.

Yesterday, I went to watch The Dark Knight Rises with Taylor and Brandon. Like, finally! I've been wanting to see that movie so bad when I was in New York, but movie tickets there were crazy pricey. I was told that it cost about $18 for a ticket. I know, right? INSANITY.

But it would've been nice to watch it in New York because then I would have emerged from the cinema with a whole new perspective of New York. I'd be thinking, "This is Gotham City."

With all that said, I really, really enjoyed the movie. Anne Hathaway is probably my favorite actress of all time, next to Rachel McAdams and Natalie Portman. The ending left plenty of room for discussion, because it was one of those open-ended scenarios like Inception. As for Batman, well, what can I say? He's Batman. :D

***

On another note. I'm leaving for Texas on Monday! I'll be meeting a friend and his friends, and we're all going on a road trip across Texas for a week. It's going to be sooo much fun. :D

I hope everyone's having a great weekend! 

Sleepless Night

See that picture? I made that at 5AM with some apps on my phone because I couldn't fall asleep.

Broke my record and went to bed at 5.30AM last night... or this morning.

I have a terrible habit of sleeping late, and by late, I don't mean curfew-time late. I mean wee-hours-into-the-morning late.

I don't really know why it's so hard for me to just climb into bed at a designated time, turn off the light and doze off. I've tried going to bed at 11.30PM, planning to be asleep by midnight, but I ended up going to bed at 3AM. Sometimes, 4AM.

Usually my mind just refuses to shut down, leaving me thinking about everything there is to think of. Don't you just despise that?

If only drifting into dreamland was that simple. 

Hellish week

Let's pop some Champagne and drink to our hearts' content, because I just survived a long, torturous week. :)

Because it was the last week of school, I had tons of big semester-end projects due every day.

On Monday, I tried to film a short news package for my Broadcast Journalism assignment, only to be pushed from one place to another on campus due to the absence of permission from a higher authority. Lame. In the end, I didn't get to film and had to come up with another plan.

The mass communication department. 

On Tuesday, I spent six long hours in Stanley Russ Hall (it's practically my second home now since I spent so much time there this semester) working in the editing lab. My favorite part about the lab is the generous array of iMacs. iMacs are the perfect desktop computers. I was in there from 2PM until 8PM, editing two broadcast packages on Final Cut Pro and a couple of Publication Design projects on InDesign. By the time I left, I was extremely tired and ravenous from such a long day. The last thing I had was a mocha coconut frap at noon. That wasn't even food! So I came home, fixed myself a quick microwaved meal and started writing my broadcast scripts. Then I had to read The Great Railway Bazaar and write a short essay on it for Travel Writing. By the time I went to bed, it was way past 2AM.

Decided to do a package story on News 6, UCA's student-produced news station

On Wednesday, I suffered all evening working on two projects that were due the next day: a slideshow presentation and a portfolio. I ended up sleeping at 4AM and getting up at 6AM to finish the portfolio. By 8AM, I was done. I took a short nap but my alarm woke me up a half hour later, reminding me to print the 50-over pages of the portfolio. Very lazily, I got dressed and waited for my printer to finish spurting out paper, and then took about 10 minutes arranging everything by section. As a result of that, I was almost 20 minutes late to class. But the moment I turned that portfolio in, I breathed a sigh of relief. I only got about 2 hours of sleep the night before, and was feeling like a zombie throughout the day. And of course, my professor whipped her camera out and made us pose for a group picture.

On Thursday, I did some finishing touches on the 6 projects for Publication Design and took them to Staples to get them printed for the final portfolio. These were projects given over the semester: two advertisements, a magazine cover, a 16-page tabloid newspaper, a broadsheet newspaper and a 4-page newsletter. My professor gave us a list of how our projects should be printed. She was specific about the paper and orientation so I took that list to Staples and explained to the girl how each project should be printed. She was a sweetheart. She took notes and told me they'd be ready the next morning before my 1PM deadline. Everything seemed perfect. I went home and miraculously produced a 1000-word critical essay in an hour for my Travel Writing portfolio. Time was an essence.

Editing the front page of the newsletter

Finally, Friday arrived. I woke up this morning and went to Staples to collect my printed projects. The girl I spoke to yesterday wasn't here today. Instead, it was just a chubby blonde wearing a grimace. I told Blondie I was here to collect my projects. She brought me a paper box and I lifted the cover to check the contents. It was a good thing I did. To my horror, my 16-page tabloid newspaper was printed in the wrong orientation. I'd told the girl yesterday that it needed to be printed in "booklet" form, as written on the list my professor handed out. All the specifics were there. I don't know how she messed up. But I wasn't annoyed, just a little worried because I only had a few hours until the deadline.

It was supposed to look like a book, not a poster.

I tried to explain to Blondie that it needed to be reprinted in the booklet form but I could tell she obviously hadn't done this before. Instead of apologizing and admitting the truth, she called one of the managers, a short blond woman with a really annoying voice. The woman's voice was flat and nasal-like. She sounded bored. Nasal tried to act like Ms. Know-It-All and said the file was too big and wasn't formatted to be printed in booklet form. She was wrong, of course. The file was pre-formatted to print in booklet form, but she tried to conceal her ignorance by droning on about how I hadn't formatted it right and that it was taking a long time to get to the printer. In the end, she said they might be able to print it and told me to come back in an hour's time. So I went home and patiently waited for her call.

She called a half hour later, her flat voice boring out of the speaker, "I just wanted to let you know that we tried our best... but we weren't able to print it out the way you wanted because the file was just so hard to format into booklet printing." Yeah, blame it on my file again.

I quickly called Conway Copies and emailed the file over so they could print it for me, and I rushed over to Staples to collect the rest of my projects. This time, I made a new horrific discovery.

My 4-page newsletter and broadsheet newspaper were missing. They were in the box this morning when I came, but now they weren't. I raised my concern to Blondie who was working behind the computer. She gave a nonchalant shrug and said, "They should be in the box. I didn't see them lying around."

"Well, they're not in the box."

"Oh. We might have misplaced them." Without the slightest hint of remorse of penitence, she lazily moved around the counters, her blue eyes sweeping the surfaces for my lost projects. "I don't see them anywhere..."

The manager, a pretty young woman wearing a bun, came over with a concerned look. "Is everything okay?" she asked. I explained two of my projects weren't in the box along with the other ones, as they had been earlier this morning.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Let me look," the manager hurried away, scanning the floors and desks. Finally, a human! She asked Blondie some questions about the lost projects and Blondie simply shrugged again and muttered something like, "They were on the counter this morning... maybe they were misplaced. But I can't find them. I don't know where they are."

I couldn't believe the level of her professionalism. Why was she even working? I was surprised she wasn't fired a long time ago. Her aloofness and irresponsibility were getting on my nerves. But I forced myself to stay calm. My portfolio was due in 30 minutes, and Staples had lost two of my assignments. Nasal came over and like Blondie, didn't look the slightest bit apologetic. They acted as though this happened every day: things just randomly disappear, it's normal!

They said they'd reprint it for me, but their color printer wasn't working. Then, Blondie and Nasal grouped around the large green trashcan sitting among the computers and printers. For some reason, the lid was sealed shut and wouldn't budge, despite Blondie's numerous attempts to pry it open. That was the final straw. I called the manager over and said I needed to go.

She told me I could take the rest of my projects back for free and apologized profusely. She felt so bad for the inconvenience her staff had caused. I thanked her and left. At least someone at Staples was polite and professional.

I hurried to Conway Copies with only 10 minutes left on the clock. Thank God for Conway Copies! They rescued my portfolio from the wrath of failure. They printed out my 16-page tabloid newspaper the right way, without me having to explain how it was supposed to be. All I needed to say was "booklet form" and they handed it to me like this:

PERFECT. That was just what it needed to look like!

And they printed my broadsheet newspaper and the 4-page newsletter as well, the ones that Staples carelessly lost. I was so grateful to Conway Copies for getting everything done right and on time. They were professionals. They knew exactly what to do.

But because of the delay at Staples, I missed the deadline by 40 minutes. I don't know if my professor will count me off because I was late. When I explained the reason, she calmly replied, "That's why I told you all not to go to Staples. They're really bad."

I must have missed that part because if I'd known how bad they were, I wouldn't have gone there in the first place.

Staples is a fine place to get stationery, although most of their products are way overpriced. But if you want to get your printing done with reliability, that's the last place you should go. Expect some slip ups. I'm still scarred from this morning's experience and I swore to myself I'd never trust them with printing anything, ever again.

Do it at your own risk.

So yes, I've had a pretty rough week. But I'm done ranting. :) It feels great letting all the frustration out. I have finals next week so I can't declare that I'm free from school yet, but once finals are over, I'll feel the chains of the semester slowly breaking away. And then, I'll blog about freedom.

The Week

You know, I didn't think I was going to be able to make it through the week.

During spring break, I bummed around and procrastinated so much, that after plates of food, hours of sleeping, and afternoons spent in front of the TV, I dreaded the dawn of a new week. I knew it was just a matter of time before the holiday week faded out and invisible school bells started chiming in my ear. And then I would be thrown into the arena of assignments again, to continue where I'd left off. I felt totally unprepared for the weeks to come, because I could smell the workload. I could taste the despair. 

I was actually "depressed" when Monday arrived. My alarm went off and I groaned. I dove further into the black-and-white comforter, letting it blanket away the sun streaming through the blinds into my room, reminding me that it was time to face the new day. I contemplated staying in, even though I wasn't sick. But technically, I was sick of the assignments. They rang at the back of my mind, their towering bodies plastered with large, bellowing deadlines. My grades depended on how well I executed each task. At the end of the semester, my entire GPA depended on them.

The pressure was seeping into my thoughts again. Nobody was pressuring me; just myself, as usual. I thought about the large projects I had to finish - finding a suitable topic and creating a website on it, editing a broadcast clip on Final Cut Pro and writing the script by myself for the first time, writing a literary journalism piece even though I had no idea what to write about - and I knew that wasn't the end of it.

So, as pathetic as it seemed, I was dreading the week because I knew I'd have to go through the mundane routine of sitting through lectures, chasing minutes to the next assignment and worrying over the upcoming ones.

Anyway, once the week started, it seemed to flow like a river. The current pushed me to work, to spend hours in the editing lab of Stanley Russ Hall on Tuesday afternoon, to endure harsh criticisms on my subjective essay which I knew would surface because I'd boldly taken the other route. But on top of that, the week was tolerable.

Oh, and I just thought I'd share my midterm project here. :) I had to design a 16-page newspaper from scratch using a page-editing software, Adobe InDesign. It took me hours (probably 7?) to polish the layout. The best part was that I didn't have to write any of it; all the articles and photos were already provided. My job was to arrange them professionally across the pages, following the sheet of instructions.

TA-DAAAA! :) 

I hope I get a good grade for that. I mean, I broke a sweat just trying to align the text on the pages. No joke.

I've been feeding off instant noodles all week. And pasta. Oh, pasta. The thought of it makes my mouth water. Do you know I can have pasta for every meal, every day of the week? I'm not exaggerating. It happened about a month ago.

And it wasn't because I was out of rice or noodles. I just craved pasta so much that I had to have it for every meal.

Anyway, I guess I kinda strayed off a little bit with the pasta.

The week hasn't been breezy, but I'm glad the weekend is approaching in TWO days. :) Oh yeah! Motivation, yo.

Okay, honestly I have no idea where this is going. :D But have a good rest of the week, people.

And go play in the sun!

Another world

My Media & Society professor once said:

"I don't like to watch TV series. Why waste precious hours of your life in front of a screen watching other people have a life?"

But what if you want a temporary escape from the trials you're facing in your life?

Some of us turn to movies and TV shows as an escapade into the dramatic lives of fictitious characters. It's entertaining to see Allie and Noah finally reunited after years of separation, or Kyle XY with no belly button discovering how he was really created. 

When the going gets really tough, it's so easy to get lost in the lives of others, even if they aren't real. For once, our concentration isn't on our worries, but on the interesting characters on the screen and the predicaments they're enduring. 

And when the movie ends, we look for more movies to indulge in - anything that takes our mind off our sullen reality. 

These fictitious events trigger emotions that we yearn for. Joy. Relief. Excitement. Inspiration. Hope.

It may not be a healthy way of dealing with the truth, but sometimes, people need a little bit of relief from the things they face, even if the relief they seek is temporary.

Tired

I must have left my jar of enthusiasm back home, because I feel awfully tired today. Over the past few days, I've been going to bed at 2am (sometimes later than that) and getting up at 8 or 9 in the morning. I shouldn't be complaining because I know science students barely get any rest at all - but I'm tired. 

I'm tired of worrying over deadlines and forcing myself to stay up late working on assignments. I'm tired of feeling crappy when I wake up in the mornings, because my head and eyes will hurt and I have to literally drag my lazy body out of bed to get to the bathroom. Once, I nearly dozed off in the shower.

Sorry, I don't mean to rant, but this week seems to be passing by incredibly slowly. I look awful and I feel awful. If only I could just hit the PAUSE button and take a couple of days to really recuperate and gain all my energy and college enthusiasm back. That's all I'm hoping for.

Honestly

I like spending quality time alone in Starbucks, sipping on my drink and immersing myself in a good read or whatever assignments I have, as the swirl of conversations carry on around me.

I like doodling on napkins. Sometimes, I'll write an encouraging anonymous note and leave it behind for next lucky person to find it.

I hated raw salmon all the way until summer of 2011. Now it's my favorite thing in the world, beside chocolates and carbonara pasta.

I really want a hamster.

I eat a lot, complain about the calories, and eat a lot anyway. It doesn't actually bother me that much.

I'm a private person; I don't like posting personal stuff out there because I hate to be judged.

I used to wonder why people would go to a counselor and spill their problems, rather than sharing with their friends or family. But now, I can totally see why spilling the beans to a complete stranger would help.

The not-so-awesome possum

A few weekends back, I went to shoot some pictures up in the hills at Emerald Park with my cousin Dina and her husband Rob.



It was a very woodsy... tall trees, narrow pathways, quiet apart from the howling of the crazy wind and the rustling of leaves.


Anyway, we were high up on the hills and Dina spotted this sign that she wanted me to take a picture of. So she went behind it to pose and I walked toward the sign, ready to snap some pictures. And all of a sudden, I saw her eyes dart to the empty spot beside me. When she turned back to me, there was a strange smile on her face; almost like she was concealing a secret. A secret I knew I didn't want to know.

"Later, I'll you something..." she told me calmly.

My mind instantly cooked up a grotesque image of a huge spider or ugly toad inching toward my feet.

"Oh, okay," I nodded. Then I turned around and fled. Dina and Rob were laughing at my reaction.

"It's okay! It's just a possum!" Rob said.

Oh, just a possum. I imagined a cute squirrel-looking creature nibbling an acorn on the ground. (I've always thought possums looked like squirrels anyway)

So I turned around and saw this:

And I freaked out. I screamed. I was expecting a cute possum, not a dead possum.

I never knew I had the tendency to be dramatic anyway.

I calmed down eventually, of course. After 20 seconds of cringing at the thought that I'd just been standing inches away from a stinking dead possum.

Dead possums are not cute. In fact, now that I've seen a possum, I don't think possums look like squirrels anymore. Possums are way bigger and they have sharp little teeth that could bite off a finger if you tried to pet them. But who would ever want to pet a possum? :/

So yeah. As the wind whistled through the barren branches at Emerald Park on that fine Monday morning, I had my first not-so-epic encounter with a dead possum.



 That was also the day I rescued Woody the pine cone from the woods. But that's another story ;)

Here's to another busy week ahead. Let's hope January goes easy on all of us, okay?

Driving

I DROVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AMERICA TODAY!

Well, I just drove in an empty parking lot to get the feel of driving again. I haven't driven for a long long time and driving in the States is really different.

The steering wheel is on the LEFT side of the car. So naturally people drive on the other side of the road. I'm still nervous about that because I'm afraid habit may kick in and I might drive on the wrong side of the road here.

But I did good today, apart from hitting a lamppost. Lol.

Two things I'm worried of are parallel parking and reversing. I know that takes practice.

Hopefully by the end of next semester, I would have earned myself a driver's license here ;)

I almost forgot how fun driving can be once you are in complete control of the wheel.

It's been another busy week of school, but I'm slowly getting the hang of it.

I've also attached myself to Pretty Little Liars, a totally awesome TV show featuring Lucy Hale, Ashley Benson, Troian Bellisario, Sasha Pieterse and Shay Mitchell. It helps me get my mind off school and other stuff.
It's a guilty pleasure, besides munching on Pringles and Tweeting.

A few days ago, I got to witness one of the most beautiful sunsets of my life.

You can see a bigger picture here on my photoblog.

I love sunsets; I'm like, obsessed with them. I could take a million pictures of them and still want more. There's something about the setting of the sun and the vibrant burst of colors that are so enchanting! I could 

stare at the sky for hours. I could fall in love with the beauty of the evening over and over again.

Sunsets are never the same. :) 

Blissful Wednesday

It's a lovely evening in Conway and it's been this way over the past few days. The scorching summer sun only comes up early in the afternoon and quickly disappears before 4pm. It's starting to get really windy, which is perfect when you're walking to classes but not so perfect when you have a photoshoot for class and you're posing out in the open with the wind blowing hair into your face every second.

That happened today. Haha. I'm writing for The Fountain again this semester (it's an honor, really) and we had to take some "professional" shots by the school fountain earlier for our "Meet The Staff" page. I'm excited to see how the pictures turned out. 

This semester is quickly becoming a busy one. Yes, I know 6 classes already guarantees that, but really. Sometimes I feel like I'm struggling so hard just to NOT fall behind classes. I'm taking Media Law & Ethics this semester which is a class devoted to studying the intricate commands of American law... and believe me, it's tough. We're supposed to understand the important laws and be able to apply them to current media events, and then we have to read between the lines to distinguish the TRUE meaning of the law. It sounds complicated and it is! 

Well, gotta pull my study socks a little bit higher this week and slave the days away. It's not too hard when you have a cozy room and a mug of hot chocolate to accompany you ;)

On another note. I miss my family! :) I haven't spoken to them since I got here. We've emailed but I've still yet to see their faces on SKYPE. Haha. They're the sweetest, most lovable people you will ever meet. <3 The internet in my apartment is still acting strange; it'll be smooth for an hour and completely disappear the next hour. Sigh. I'm hoping the Housing department fixes this as soon as possible. It's been weeks and my housemates and I have been insanely patient with the whole thing. It's crazy living without internet; I'm sure you know that ;)

And our downstairs bathroom was leaking. There was thick white liquid oozing out into the hallway. Yes, GROSS. We didn't know what caused it, so I called the management yesterday and they came over to check it out. I think they've fixed it. I mean, I hope so. Water doesn't seep into the hallway anymore.

Well, apart from that, this is a great apartment. It's so much better than my dorm! I liked Baridon Hall, but one of the things I hated about dorm life was NOT having the option to cook regularly. I was on a meal plan too, so I had to maximize that at the cafeteria almost every day. Cafeteria food isn't the bomb. They serve greasy, cheesy stuff for every single meal and sometimes you just run out of options. I'd usually get the same stuff every time I ate there:

Lunch: Omelet with spinach and bacon (if they had any), soup of the day, pasta soaked in plain alfredo sauce (I'd be lucky if they had bits of basil in there). And whatever meat that was served.

Dinner: All of the above, minus the omelet.

I started cooking in my dorm, like, in my room, to be exact. I had an electric kettle, so I'd boil water in there and cook instant noodles in a plastic bowl. Lol. Stop laughing at my pathetic dorm life, okay? It could've been worse. :P But overall I had a great year in Baridon Hall and that was one of the major highlights of my first year in UCA.

Dorm life certainly has a lot to offer, but apartment life has more! :D

Well. Like a good girl, I'm off to do my assignments. 

Later, gator!

The Spider and the Shoe

Look who had so much time on her hands to revamp her blog!

Well, why should I blame myself. It's the weekend! :) I spent a great deal of time bumming around the apartment today. Cooked lunch, surfed the net, read the first few pages of a novel, and bummed some more. I did some homework too. The most productive thing I did today was finish 38 pages of my textbook in an hour. I was reading the history of photojournalism. It was pretty cool, unlike the history of geographical regions and how they evolve over decades. And then I wrote an essay about it for the class.

Oh, another highlight of the day: killing a spider with a shoe.


Shoes can be deadly, if you know what I mean. I was having dinner in the kitchen earlier when a huge spider appeared less than a feet away. First instinct? Scream. Second instinct? Jump on the chair.

I'm kidding. I totally did not react that way.

But I had a sudden image of the spider jumping... and goosebumps broke out on my skin. I don't really have anything against spiders, but when a spider just stays there and continues to haunt me, I find it really disturbing. So, after much thought, I had to kill it. My housemate said I could use one of her big brown boots to smack it with, so that was my weapon.

But I didn't "smack" it. I dangled the shoe several inches above the spider's plump body by the laces and released them. The heavy shoe plummeted and smashed the spider in one swift second. Poor spider barely had time to move. Well, pest activists can get off my back because spiders aren't exactly a breed you'd want to protect. In fact, the sooner spiders get off the face of the earth, the better!

Incy wincy spider went on the kitchen floor
Down came the shoe and crushed poor Incy out
Out came the guts and spider blood and brains
And Incy wincy spider never did that again.

I know what you're thinking, and I can assure you, I've got better things to do than create a twisted nursery rhyme out of that. Which is why I'm moving on to the rest of my assignment.

Happy Saturday all! Shoe a spider!

6 Writing Classes

Hurray for the weekend! I've only had two days of classes and I already have loads of assignments to finish before Monday. Planning to chill at home and finish my work in the cozy crib this weekend!

I mentioned that I'm doing 6 classes this semester. I thought 3 of them were writing classes and the other 3 were reading classes. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case. ALL 6 OF THEM INVOLVE A LOT OF WRITING.

I had 4 writing classes last semester and was living under a cloud of stress. I barely had time to read novels or watch movies. My life basically revolved around my writing assignments and interviews. I'd do the interview in the afternoon, go home, start working on the piece right away and submit it to my professor before midnight. That carried on for the entire semester.

So, looking at the amount of workload I have this semester, it's going to be no surprise if I spend most of my weekends locked in the house, chasing deadlines. 

Well, wish me luck! :) Have a great weekend.